It makes sense that a blog entitled The Grumpy Scot, written by a user called 'The Grumpy Scot,' who got that name from someone who knows him well, should be at least a little contrary. Yesterday's post of anti-VD songs got me thinking about those love songs that I do like, so the logical thing to do is stick them together in a post with a lovey dovey title and post it the day after Valentine's.
I'd like to hope that anyone reading this has been in love at some point in their life. When you're in love you want to communicate it, you want the other person to know exactly how you feel, what happens in your heart and your mind, whether you're together or apart. Unfortunately a lot of this is done with equipment that's sorely lacking, three or five words - "I love you" or "I love you so much." The sentiment is there but it doesn't come close to explaining the true depth of your feelings.
It's no coincidence so many stunning pieces of art come into being as the manifestation of the artist's love for someone. It's also no coincidence so that so many try and fail when it comes to putting down in words or images, something ineffable. If you think this isn't the case, take a look at the track listing of the average compilation of love songs. Yes, there will be some classics but the majority will be bland, aural expressions of Hallmark sentimentality, shat onto tape like a fish laying eggs. You know the usual suspects here: purveyors of rotten 80s power ballad twattery, James Blunt and Simply Red (a band who managed to become even more odious when you found out just how much sex Mick Hucknall had off the back of their souless "soul").
Thankfully, as ever there are those who avoid the usual traps and who manage to communicate how it actually feels to be in thrall to someone. People will doubtless have their own favourites but here are five that made a Grumpy Scot melt (a little).
The Breeders and J Mascis: Do You Love Me Now Jr?
Maybe an odd one to start with given that it apparently documents the conversation between a couple whose relationship is ending/has ended, but I'd suggest the questions asked in the opening lines are those asked by all couples at least once:
"Do you think of me
Like I dream of you?
Do you wish you were here
Like I wish I was with you?"
Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds: Into My Arms
Some might see this as a cop out but Nick Cave says everything that needs to be said about this song and love songs in general in this lecture. This leaves you free to just listen to the song and imagine being the person it was written about.
The Proclaimers: Then I Met You
Famous for specs and proud singing in their own accents (proto-Scottish rap? Now there's a thesis in waiting), for many people The Proclaimers will never be more than flash in the pan act responsible for Letter From America and 500 Miles. Confession time, in my snobbier musical youth I was one of those people. Then I bought Sunshine on Leith and fell in love with the whole album but especially this song. The fact my girlfriend at the time lived in Morningside may have had something to do with this initially, but as time's gone on I don't think I've heard anyone encapsulate the moment you go from stubbornly happy singleton to loved up other half in such a perfect way.
Teenage Fanclub: I Heard You Looking
Twelve minutes, no words at all let alone any mention of love or devotion, so what the fuck is this doing in here? Simply put, to me it shows that words are often unecessary when professing love for someone. This is the romantic gesture in guitar form, the surprise present given to someone for no other reason than you wanted to, the romantic dinner on a cold Monday night in March when the restaurant is half empty and no-one is trying to punt overpriced roses to desperate partners. I could waffle on into Pseuds Corner about how the rising repetition represents the growing strength of feeling in a blossoming relationship, but I need to be able to live with myself and I'd like to get some sleep tonight. One of the few covers I think betters the original (done by Yo La Tengo).
The Black Keys: Everlasting Light
A deceptively simple proclamation of love and support with a title that arguably wouldn't be out of place on the type of compilation album found on the shelves of a Shell garage. Without harping on, putting complex emotions into song without resorting to cliche or the grim verbiosity of a frustrated teenager isn't easy. However here, The Black Keys not only nail the lyrics, they throw in a tune that is slinky to the point of lasciviousness. A love song? Undoubtedly. A dirty love song? Even better.
Tuesday, 15 February 2011
Monday, 14 February 2011
Treatments for VD
And so it swings around again, a Hallmark event with all the sincerity of a Tory promising "we're in this together" while jizzing on a pile of fifites after a reach-around from an oiled up banker: Valentine's Day, or VD as I like to refer to it because that's how welcome it is. More often than not, romance is about spontaneity (or at least the appearance of it - they'll never know how many sleepless nights went into planning that perfect gesture) but VD is the antithesis of it. No-one has put it better today than The Teaqueen did on Twitter:
"Happy Valentines! Hope you all get cheap flowers, a cheesy card, overpriced dinner and some lacklustre sex later. Mwah."
So, in honour of those singles and couples who haven't caught the VD madness, here are five anti-VD songs. Take your Simply Red and ram it up your hoop.
The Delgados: All You Need is Hate
It might never have been intended as that kind of song, but you know a thousand VD playlists will start with All You Need is Love. With that in mind, how else to begin the treatment with a blast of wonderfully misanthropic pop? It's one of those songs that you might hear in the background and think it's a great pop ditty, but it's only when you listen to the lyrics you realise The Delgados have pulled off a Kaiser Soze-esque trick of misdirection:
"Hate is everywhere, inside your mother’s heart and you will find it there
You ask me what you need, hate is all you need"
Harsh, but the perfect antidote to VD in all its cutesy guises.
Arab Strap: I Still Miss You
Listening to Arab Strap over the years it's difficult to avoid the conclusion that Aidan Moffat is to successful relationships what Liz Taylor was to long marriages. Whether damaged by his own fuck ups or those of his erstwhile partners, Moffat's songs stumble around like a drunk in search of a safe haven at the end of a mammoth drinking session. I Still Miss You, used in the soundtrack to Irvine Welsh's Acid House, is possibly him and Arab Strap at their bleakest, ruing a lost relationship, wishing disease on the new partner but still unable to let go. The clanging backing track sounds like the doom of a cheap whisky hangover and the strings could easily sound cheesy but instead add to the sense of confusion and loathing.
The Velvet Underground: The Gift
John Cale's perfect deadpan recital of a Lou Reed short story set to a typically skewed backing. Waldo Jeffers, the lovelorn main character, comes up with the perfect way to see the girlfriend who's left him and gone to college. A packing crate and a man with true love in his heart, what could possibly go wrong?
The Verve: A Northern Soul
This blog isn't about dissecting song lyrics and interpreting the meaning of any given song, but I'm pretty sure A Northern Soul is about something more personal and profound to Richard Ashcroft than sticking two fingers up at Valentine's Day. However, it's my blog, hardly any fucker reads it and I'll decide. Any song where the singer proclaims he has "no time for love and devotion" before stating "I tell you so many lies and then I'll let you go into the night" and concluding "I'm gonna die alone in bed" has to be included here.
Throbbing Gristle: Very Friendly (Parts 1 and 2)
Murder as a way to celebrate a six month anniversary? For the Moors Murderers, yes. There's not really much to say about this other than it's 17 minutes you'll either love or hate. Definitely the best way to finish an anti Valentine's post.
"Happy Valentines! Hope you all get cheap flowers, a cheesy card, overpriced dinner and some lacklustre sex later. Mwah."
So, in honour of those singles and couples who haven't caught the VD madness, here are five anti-VD songs. Take your Simply Red and ram it up your hoop.
The Delgados: All You Need is Hate
It might never have been intended as that kind of song, but you know a thousand VD playlists will start with All You Need is Love. With that in mind, how else to begin the treatment with a blast of wonderfully misanthropic pop? It's one of those songs that you might hear in the background and think it's a great pop ditty, but it's only when you listen to the lyrics you realise The Delgados have pulled off a Kaiser Soze-esque trick of misdirection:
"Hate is everywhere, inside your mother’s heart and you will find it there
You ask me what you need, hate is all you need"
Harsh, but the perfect antidote to VD in all its cutesy guises.
Arab Strap: I Still Miss You
Listening to Arab Strap over the years it's difficult to avoid the conclusion that Aidan Moffat is to successful relationships what Liz Taylor was to long marriages. Whether damaged by his own fuck ups or those of his erstwhile partners, Moffat's songs stumble around like a drunk in search of a safe haven at the end of a mammoth drinking session. I Still Miss You, used in the soundtrack to Irvine Welsh's Acid House, is possibly him and Arab Strap at their bleakest, ruing a lost relationship, wishing disease on the new partner but still unable to let go. The clanging backing track sounds like the doom of a cheap whisky hangover and the strings could easily sound cheesy but instead add to the sense of confusion and loathing.
The Velvet Underground: The Gift
John Cale's perfect deadpan recital of a Lou Reed short story set to a typically skewed backing. Waldo Jeffers, the lovelorn main character, comes up with the perfect way to see the girlfriend who's left him and gone to college. A packing crate and a man with true love in his heart, what could possibly go wrong?
The Verve: A Northern Soul
This blog isn't about dissecting song lyrics and interpreting the meaning of any given song, but I'm pretty sure A Northern Soul is about something more personal and profound to Richard Ashcroft than sticking two fingers up at Valentine's Day. However, it's my blog, hardly any fucker reads it and I'll decide. Any song where the singer proclaims he has "no time for love and devotion" before stating "I tell you so many lies and then I'll let you go into the night" and concluding "I'm gonna die alone in bed" has to be included here.
Throbbing Gristle: Very Friendly (Parts 1 and 2)
Murder as a way to celebrate a six month anniversary? For the Moors Murderers, yes. There's not really much to say about this other than it's 17 minutes you'll either love or hate. Definitely the best way to finish an anti Valentine's post.
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