Gig Bingo

Last Tuesday I went to see The National at The Corn Exchange. The last time I saw The National it cost me a trip to London and my only experience buying a ticket at way more than face value but this doesn't bother me - they are one of the few bands I love that much. Last week was the first time I've seen them in Scotland and despite being held in the morgue-like barn that is The Corn Exchange it was one of the best gigs I've ever been to. The memory of Matt Berninger climbing up the speaker stack, removing one of the ceiling panels and sticking his head through the gap (later described as "one of the stupidest things I've done") is one that will stay with me. The finale of the show which saw the band ditch all amplification, stand in formation at the front of the stage and sing in unison with the crowd while Berninger wandered through the audience elevated an already great gig into something truly spine-tingling and unforgettable. It was also the night I invented Gig Bingo.

Gig Bingo is a straightforward game that can be played at any gig, pretty much regardless of artist, genre or venue. All you need is a concert, a fellow attendee to play with (probably best if it's someone you know) and a chosen selection of gig cliches, those sights you can almost guarantee to see at least once during any given show. You can make up your own but here are some examples to get you started:

• Beanie hat regardless of the weather - a perennial that seems unrestricted by geography (New York, London, Tokyo, Edinburgh), music style (The National, Mogwai, Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds, Moby) or outside weather conditions. Double points if the wearer has eschewed straggly facial hair and triple if it's a woman.
• Bored other half who is only there in the hope of being physically rewarded for their attendance - an easy couple to spy as one will be standing enraptured while the other checks their watch in the manner of a bored commuter on a station platform
• First time gig-goer spangled on the pre-show cider and one pint of watery lager in the venue - self-explanatory

I'm sure you get the idea. If you want to include a really easy one to make sure everyone gets off the mark you might as well go with the "fucktrumpet who watches most of the show through the screen of their mobile phone." A truly contemporary blight on gigs and something that leaves me asking if there are really that many people in the audience of such a poor memory that they must record as much of the show on a shaky two and a half inch screen for posterity. God help them when they try and remember where they parked the car.

Back in the summer the BBC showed a number of classic performances from Glastonbury - Radiohead in 1997, Pulp in 1995 and so on. Amazing shows and not a phone in sight. I almost felt a pang of nostalgia for warnings on tickets forbidding cameras and pre-show searches that were designed to put off any budding bootleggers. It made me think of shows gone by, some I'd attended and more that I hadn't, and lead me to this five-a-day from phone free times.

Elvis Presley: Baby What Do You Want Me To Do

Despite my love of the pomp, the jumpsuits and the sideburns that defined 70s Vegas Elvis, the sections from The 68 Comeback Special with just him and his band are my favourite performances of his, and the above out take is the best of these. More than that, to me it's simply one of the greatest live performances of any song by any artist I've ever seen. It's three minutes of lewd and lascivious behaviour, framed with a filthy growl thirty seconds in and probably the best eyebrow movement in musical history just before the end (2:22). Pure, dripping aural sex. 

James: Stutter

Like many people of a certain age, Sit Down was the first I'd heard of James. That was in 1991 and I had no idea they'd been bubbling away for the best part of a decade, building up a fan base that meant they sold out the 12,500 capacity G-Mex in Manchester before they'd even had a hit of any significant size. The show was filmed properly, a video released and snapped up by a music hungry 14 year old GrumpyScot who watched it again and again. The pre-concert interviews on the video got me one of my best English grades as I used them as the basis for a creative writing exam (sorry, Miss Jones) and to this day I wish I'd been there. It's never been reissued on DVD so much gratitude to stutterPT for uploading each song from the video AND the interviews.

Rezerection

Not strictly one song or artist but included for two simple reasons: 1) it reminds me of my formative years and 2) would there have been that level of fantastically manic gurning, hand-dancing and lightstick-waving if half the crowd were filming the show on their mobiles? No chance.

Rolling Stones: Gimme Shelter

 
Riffing's equivalent of the Japanese original of The Grudge - terrifying and mood setting regardless of how many times you go back to it. Yes, the Stones still tour and their next gigantasaurus rox will no doubt be appearing at a megadome near here, but that's not the Stones I want to see. As soon as I master time travel I'll be doing two things - getting my fortune sorted through gambling on known results, and going to see the Stones in their prime.

Sex Pistols: Whatcha Gonna Do About It?

Immortalised in 24 Hour Party People, The Sex Pistols show at Manchester's Free Trade Hall in 1976 has gone down in history with some even calling it 'The Gig that Changed The World.' Thousands claim to have been there but in reality the number is closer to forty, including future Smiths, Fall, Joy Division and New Order members. Oh, and Mick Hucknall. Another one for the time machine - attend, be amazed, punch Hucknall in the throat and prevent a million dreadful fucks.